About Me

I have always been a curious person. I remember playing in my yard as a child and enjoying lifting logs to see the life that was wiggling underneath, feeling like a gentle giant filled with joy witnessing these small creatures’ being and contemplating their perception (if any) of my presence and observation. I questioned if they even saw me or if they wondered who I was.  I watched the birds fly across the sky visualizing the messages they were communicating to others and even to me. I asked- did they notice me too? Did these other species hear me? I’d anticipate going to sleep at night to look down upon my body asleep and lift off flying as I drifted further into the abyss of my unconscious mind. The practice of tuning into my body and its messages excited me even at a young age before I even knew why. Maybe I’d find the answers there. Upon waking in the morning, I’d hold on tightly to the visions I had in hopes of finding the answers I was seeking, but it felt like I was gasping for air.

These patterns of observing, reflecting, questioning, and trying to find purpose and joy have followed me my whole life. My studies led me down the path of behavioral science which further fueled my curious analytical observational tendencies. I learned how to piece together environmental conditions, influences, and analyze behavioral patterns to begin to make sense of why others acted the way they did. But I still questioned ME…my purpose. Why did I feel so small most of the time? Why did I assume negative outcomes were always my fault? Why did I hesitate when to speak my truth? Why did I not communicate my needs? Why even with all of the “answers” from my scientific study of behavior was I still left with such a lack of understanding of myself and the world around me?

When these questions became too much to handle, I quickly learned how to abate them by occupying and distracting myself. I was engaging in my own form of experiential avoidance, avoiding uncomfortable feelings while also sacrificing the good ones and the beautiful nuances of life. I devoted myself to my family’s happiness over my own, advanced my career as a means to justify my worth, focused on my outward appearance as validation of my being, and utilized vices to distract and numb the layers of my uncomfortable thoughts and bodily sensations with behaviors such as excess shopping, drinking, overscheduling, participating in superficial sexual relationships, etc.

One day during the pandemic I discovered I was a single mother, in a beautiful home, with an outwardly beautiful portfolio, yet still feeling inwardly utterly alone. I decided to make a change- to relearn how to craft my curiosity about life and cultivate joy.  I had friends and a support system who helped me through this process. That is when plant medicine found me. I took the first step to put myself out there and the universe answered with a profound life-changing gift. I want to similarly be that support for you.

My psychospiritual journey allowed me to peel off the masks I was wearing at my own pace and learn how to embrace the flow of life that was in alignment with my core values and authentic self. Then the most beautiful thing happened. I began to notice the bugs under logs again! I listened to the messages the birds gave me as they flew across the sky.  I began to remember the wisdom my spirit guides sent me in my dreams. I began to walk the path of true meaningful purpose and higher self’s authenticity. I connected with MYSELF. When the caterpillar asks me, “WHO ARE YOU?” I now have the answer….I am Mary and I walk the spiritual path as a cultivator of joy with curiosity and an open heart to others. I am here to hold scared curious space for you to help you along your path of joyful self-discovery and authenticity. I can’t wait to see who is hiding underneath your mask.